Death Threats Over Inter-Ethnic Marriage

It is so bizarre to me to think that even in the year 2007, there are people out there so offended by the idea of love and marriage between people of different ethnicities, particularly black and white, that they would call or write in death threats to the couple. But that is exactly what happened over the last few weeks leading up to the wedding this past weekend of a black Boise State football star and his white Boise State cheerleader fiancee, now wife. Apparently, the couple and their families had to hire extra security for their wedding due to these threats. People really do need to get a grip. By the way, thankfully the wedding went off without a hitch.

The only reason lots of people even knew about this pretty normal wedding (in terms of numbers of inter-ethnic marriages) is that the proposal took place on a very big national stage. Immediately following Boise State's incredibly dramatic upset of Oklahoma last year in a nationally televised bowl game, the football star ran to his girlfriend and proposed to her in front of millions of people as the television cameras captured the whole thing. Her acceptance and their subsequent embrace and kiss must have sent shudders through many a racist watching the game or the numerous replays on news shows. I guess it was their worst nightmare, the athletic black sports star taking "their" beloved" white cheerleader, for many the ultimate symbol of the girl everyone wants to marry.

So, many months later, they were still furious. Enough to try to stop it. What nutcases. Congrats to the newlyweds. And to those who couldn't stand the thought, get over it. There is nothing you can do to stop the fact that love across ethnicities is stronger than bigotry.

Some Other Identifier?

I was just thinking, is there some other way for people to categorize themselves without using race or ethnicity? I understand that ethnicity, or skin color, is possibly the most obvious and therefore easiest way to differentiate people. And even as I write this, it occurs to me that this is likely where this whole ethnic identifier mess got started. Groups, or tribes, had to recognize who was not one of their own, and the quickest way to do that, was to notice how they looked. So I get that. But here we are, some thousands of years later, and we are still doing the same old thing. Even as we move to "bi-racial" and "multi-racial" tags, we are still in a sense buying into the main premise that visual ethnic identifiers must still be at the root of how we look at each other. This new, broader category is of course a move forward, but it is still not the detonation of the root problem that in the long run, we must rid ourselves of.

I suppose people will always look for the easiest way, and classifying people by hair color or height just doesn't make sense either. And even more importantly, maybe I'm completely wrong to even think in terms of a new identifier that can replace race or ethnicity. Because isn't the point, to get beyond any classifications or groups? Maybe. But then again, I think people will always find something to base their notion of "other" on. It is just a question of how insidious that basis will be and whether they can do so without placing judgement at the same time. Who knows. Just something to think about.

Passing

I just read an interesting letter in an article online by a bi-ethnic woman (black and white) who ran into the problem of people at her job holding it against her when they found out she was mixed with black. They apparently did not know this because she does not "look black" in that she has green eyes, fair skin and straight hair. So since she never brought up her mixed heritage they assumed she was part of the "all-white" club at this particularly law firm in New Jersey. And some felt she had hoodwinked them by not proclaiming her half black status at the door. How interesting.

This makes me think of two things. One is that people need to learn, and learn quickly, that these days there is a lot more ethnic mixing going on than most know, so it would probably be smart to not make assumptions about what people "are," even when they look like something you assume to be obvious. The second thing is this whole issue of "passing," or pawning oneself off to be something other than what they are, ethnically speaking. That New Jersey woman had no obligation to wear a sign saying, "by the way, I am not all white" nor should she have felt obligated to pronounce it to people. As long as she did not deny that fact or hide it out of shame or some other reason, it sounds like the problem was not hers but the people who made assumptions based on skin color.

The problem was probably that people at that firm had made comments about blacks or other minorities, not realizing she was minority (multi-ethnic) as well. If people would just treat all people with respect then they wouldn't have to worry so much about the language or joke they are about to use with someone, someone who may or may not be what you think they are.

The Half and Half Test

So here is an interesting test I would love to try on people. So imagine this.

Me: (putting on the table a special concoction fruit that is split down the middle and is half apple and half orange) So is this an apple or an orange?

Average Person: Neither. It is half apple and half orange.

Me: (putting on the table a block that is split down the middle and is half wood and half plastic) So is this a block of wood or is it a block of plastic?

Average Person: Neither. It is half and half so it can't be just one.

Me: (pulling out a sheet of paper and two bowls with paint in them, one blue and one yellow) When I combine these two colors, will the combination be yellow or will it be blue?

Average Person: Come on, every kid knows together they would combine to make a different color, green. So it would be neither blue nor yellow anymore.

Me: (pulling out the last items, a picture of a white woman and a black man and also a picture of their biological child) Half black and half white, is the child white or black?

Average Person: Don't be silly. The child is black.

You see what I mean?

History's Role in Identity Pride

This being the 4th of July, I was watching a series on The History Channel or something like that which had a series on the revolutionary war and our fight for independence. Watching the shows I was reminded how easy it is for those of us of color to slip into thinking so little about ourselves. And this is especially poignant to me these days because my son, who is 10 years old now, is very much into history, particularly military stories. So he watched a lot of these kinds of shows. And it is very easy when watching these shows to think the only heroic people are those with white skin. Obviously people of color, black, native american, hispanic, asian, all played significant and often heroic roles in the development of our country. We just have to dig a little deeper sometimes to find those examples since they are not the usual stories featured in books and on television. So as we celebrate this day, we have to remember that it took a rainbow of colors to get us to where we are.