Looking Forward To A Bi-Cultural 2009

With 2008 coming to a close, thankfully so for many reasons, the main being the disaster that has become our economy with so many people having such a hard time. We can only hope that 2009 is going to be much better for all of us. In fact, it is hard to imagine it being any worse. Here's to a great 2009 for all of you.

On the "racial" front, I am particularly excited about what the new year will hold. After all, we will have the first Mixed President in our country's history taking office within weeks of the start of 2009. Not only do I suspect he will do wonders for our economy (though I don't for a minute think he's a miracle worker) but I also think he will make a huge difference in our standing in the world.

But as it relates to the focus of this blog, Obama will be a constant reminder to all of us on just how far we have indeed progressed. Oh I know there is a big debate out there right now in some circles about whether Obama is "black" or if it is more appropriate to call him "bi-racial." While I think this is an important distinction, I also am thrilled that his standing has forced this semantical issue to the forefront, regardless of which side one argues. The fact that we are talking about it all is simply wonderful. One way or another, Mixed people (and therefore Mixed relationships) will get more prominence. And that is a good thing. The more those of us who are either Mixed or involved in bi, or multicultural, relationships are in the limelight the more it is an opportunity for the message to get out that we are the way to the future and to a world that spends less time focused on skin color and differences and more time focused on simply being and loving one another.

So here's to 2009 and a world that gets us closer to the title of this blog, no more race. Let's keep taking the steps to get us there, for us and our kids, as I consider all kids to be "our" kids because we are responsible for all of them, not just the ones we brought into the world directly. Thanks for reading and for sharing.

The Magic of Racism

I've been thinking today about something I read on another blog about Mixed kids, particularly those mixed with anything and Black, and how for most people that old one drop thing is the most important thing in the world. Black and anything is simply black.

Reminds me of something else I read that says the reality in America is this - a white woman can give birth to a black baby, but a black woman cannot ever give birth to a white baby.

Ain't that the darnest thing? What a stupid world this can be sometimes.

Another Mixed Woman Raises The Beauty Standard

I am always happy to see Mixed people shine in the public arena since it brings the future (and present I suppose) of ethnic relations to the forefront where people cannot ignore how the world is changing.

The new Miss France, Chloe Mortaud, is also multi-ethnic, with an African-American mother and a white French father, and apparently, is darn proud of it, as she seems to like talking about her make-up. Good for her.

And it is yet another example to our 10 year old daughter of how the standards of beauty are adapting more and more for girls and women who are not the typical beauty ideal of so many years of blonde hair and blue eyes.

Being Mixed In Texas

We just got back this past weekend from a trip to Texas (Austin and Port Arthur) to visit family for Thanksgiving. It was a good trip, though we drove all the way there from L.A., some 22 hours straight one way. Hey times are hard and flying was out of the question. It was well worth it seeing all the family, on both Dianna's and my side.

But what was particularly interesting to me on the trip, which hadn't happened in three years, was noticing again the reactions or looks we got from people when they saw our Mixed family. We get so used to be in L.A. where we hardly get noticed at all, that I completely forgot about the fact that in many parts of the country, like Arizona, New Mexico and especially Texas, seeing a Black and Mexican-American couple, and their bi-ethnic offspring, are not the norm. While we did not get any reactions that were overt or negative, I certainly noticed there were plenty of times when people gave the family the double-take and that long, slow glance at all of our family. If only I could have read their minds. That is the only thing that would have made it more interesting. And needless to say, the looks of curiosity were definitely more noticeable in the small towns we would stop in to gas up or to use the restroom facilities.

Ah, life in America. I had to hold myself back from saying to these people, "Get used to it, more like us are coming soon." But I think driving through these towns and red states with the "Obama '08" sticker plastered on the back of the car was enough tweaking of their noses we needed to do.

Blacks Embrace "One Drop Rule" The Most

I know I have been delinquent with my posts this last month but it has been a really busy time for the family and business. Trip to Texas, holiday stress, etc. So forgive my infrequency. I'm endeavoring to be better.

I came across this interesting article in The Washington Post and the subsequent storm brewing over it. I have written before that Barack Obama presents a great opportunity for us to move forward on the issue of Mixed ethnicity people. And I have also written extensively about the fact that I hate that people so easily comply with the racist "one drop rule," none more so than black people themselves. Well read the article for a good piece about this whole issue. I found the article on the Jack And Jill Politics blog where the writer was clearly bothered by the idea that there was something wrong in simply accepting the notion that Obama is the first "black" President. The opinion of the writer on "Jack and Jill" is the type of response I think we can expect from many in the black community who think making issue of Obama being Mixed or "bi-racial" is a slap at black people. Nothing could be further from the truth. It is simply more accurate. President-elect Obama is in fact 50% white. Though many do not want to pay attention to this reality, that is not our fault for pointing out the reality. And I, for one, refuse to accept the racist notion that we should ignore his 50% white make-up and act like he is all black.

But in the end, this discussion is part of the mess we'll have to go through to get to where we need to be.

"One Drop Rule" On Its Final Leg?

There is (or was) an excellent piece in the news section to the right on this blog. In case it is gone, here is a link to it. You really should read it. It delves into what I have been saying in my last few blogs, that Obama's prominence is going to mean a lot for moving Mixed people to the forefront of our consciousness. What the article also delves into though is how complicated the whole "one drop rule" is, while it asks, whether we have finally gotten past it.

One of the most interesting things about the idea that a person like Obama, or Tiger Woods, or Halle Berry, or any number of other Mixed individuals, is the fact that the people who most accept the inherent racism of the idea are Blacks. I have always felt that this is borne more out of a sense from many Blacks that anyone who dared call themselves Mixed or "bi-racial" was really ashamed of being Black, or was turning their back on the Black community. Part of it also of course is simply wanting to claim as theirs a person who has made it to the top of their field.

Whatever the reason, it is certainly understandable, even if inaccurate. Which of course is different from some Whites who subscribe to the "one drop rule" out of racial superiority or the notion that Whites are more pure. But whatever the reasoning, I will certainly do my part to help us all get past this outdated and limiting notion of what "racial" identity is. And thanks to Obama, I will have many opportunities to bring this matter to light along with the many others in the Mixed and inter-ethnic relationship communities.

Interestingly, it will no doubt get quite complicated on this issue before it gets altogether better. I suspect there will be a backlash of sorts from some segments when and if Obama brings up his Mixed heritage. We'll see how it plays out. But however it does, it is a discussion we have to have.

Mixed People Have Much To Cheer

I have to say I still haven't come down from the feeling I had on Tuesday night. And as I think ahead to what is in store for President Obama (doesn't that sound nice?) I also can't help but be tremendously excited about what his prominence will mean for the acceptance of mixed ethnicity individuals and relationships. I even predict that there will be an even greater increase in the number of mixed relationships and children as a result of people more and more coming to see Obama and his family as a "normal" part of life, even an attribute to desire.

I know right now most people are going on and on about his being "black" or African-American (which he actually is since his Dad is African and his mother American). But give it time, we'll be able to draw more attention to his mixed heritage as time goes on.

Already, our kids are proud to see someone who they know is like them, in the highest office in the land. It helps them have pride in their African-American side, and it also helps them know that being Mixed is not only o.k., but can also be an attribute, something that this country should have always celebrated, and certainly this year, proved that is accepted, in the biggest way.

What A Day!

Well busy as I am, I had to jump in here and say "Oh. My. God!" What a night it was last night and how truly excited I am at what Obama's election means for our country in terms of "race" relations.

I do have to say though, I am still a bit disturbed at all the headlines that refer to him as simply "African-American" when that is only half of what he is.

But oh well, one thing at a time. I am so excited about his victory. Thank you America!

Busy Week

Just wanted to say I haven't forgotten to write this week, I've just been swamped with some family matters. Will get bak at you next week. Have a good one.

The South Shall Not Rise Again

I know the South isn't the only place where we still have outdated notions of the evils of "race-mixing" but articles like the one in today's New York Times, titled "For Some, Uncertainty Starts at Racial Identity," still makes me glad my family and I don't live anywhere near there. Here are some choice excerpts from the article, referring to Barack Obama:

“He’s neither-nor,” said Ricky Thompson, a pipe fitter who works at a factory north of Mobile, while standing in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart store just north of here. “He’s other. It’s in the Bible. Come as one. Don’t create other breeds.”

Whether Mr. Obama is black, half-black or half-white often seemed to overshadow the question of his exact stand on particular issues, and rough-edged comments on the subject flowed easily even from voters who said race should not be an issue in the campaign. Many voters seemed to have no difficulty criticizing the mixing of the races — and thus the product of such mixtures — even as they indignantly said a candidate’s color held no importance for them.

“I would think of him as I would of another of mixed race,” said Glenn Reynolds, 74, a retired textile worker in Martinsdale, Va., and a former supervisor at a Goodyear plant. “God taught the children of Israel not to intermarry. You should be proud of what you are, and not intermarry.”

And how about this line:

“He’s going to tear up the rose bushes and plant a watermelon patch,” said James Halsey, chuckling, while standing in the Wal-Mart parking lot with fellow workers in the environmental cleanup business. “I just don’t think we’ll ever have a black president.”

My Zen practice challenges me to have compassion for these people, but I'm sorry, these people are idiots. And it gives me a bit of pleasure knowing that no matter how much they may not like it, there is nothing they can do to stop the amount of ethnic mixing that is going on in this country and that will only increase in the years to come. Even in this New York Times article, there was an example of this:

Bud Rowell, a retired oil field worker interviewed at a Baptist church in Citronelle, Ala., north of Mobile, said he was uncertain about Mr. Obama’s racial identity, and was critical of him for being equivocal and indecisive.

But Mr. Rowell also said that personal experience had made him more sympathetic to biracial people.

“I’ve always been against the blacks,” said Mr. Rowell, who is in his 70s, recalling how he was arrested for throwing firecrackers in the black section of town. But now that he has three biracial grandchildren — “it was really rough on me” — he said he had “found out they were human beings, too.”

Read the entire article here.

The First "Black" President?

O.K., my last video blog before I get back to writing. I couldn't resist this one, especially since it does get into the mixed ethnicity status of Barack Obama. Truly funny.

A Video That Captures The World We Hope For

Continuing my string of interesting videos, check out this very inspiring music video, which to me is about a lot more than electing Barack Obama, it is also about people coming together.

Who would've thought Ann Curry of "The Today Show' was funny? I didn't even know she was Mixed. Check out here comedy routine which for the most part talks about her Mixed heritage. Well done and once again shows being Mixed is not the tragic event some like to make it out to be.

SNL At Their Best

This is just too good. Queen Latifah absolutely steals this with her expressions.

Mixed Kids Are Often Better At Dealing With "Racial" Problems

I have mentioned before how there seem to be no shortage of people and "studies" that subscribe to the idea of the tragic or torutred Mixed child, which I have always found to be a bit out of touch with reality. Well, here is an academic study that gives the other side, a report that says on the contrary, Mixed people and children are possibly better adjusted than same ethnicity people. The study is "A Positive Approach to identity Formation of Biracial Children" and was authored by Mary Ann Cunningham at San Jose State University.

Here are some of her findings:

...Some studies have found that it is more likely for interracial children to experience difficulties related to a poor self-identity, such as gender confusion, self-hatred, alcohol and drug abuse, suicide, delinquency and alienation. Yet other studies have found interracial youth to show high levels of creativity, adaptability, and resiliency" (Herring, as cited in Hoskins, 1996).

And this:

A study by Alvin Poussaint, M. D. of biracial children disproved the myth that these children have conflicts over which race to identify within society. "Rather, biracial young people appeared to be more open-minded and seldom used racial labels to describe others" (Gay, 1987, p. 41). Tiger Woods, the twenty-one year old golf pro, has brought the issue of multi-ethnicity in to the limelight, lately. He has openly stated that he objects to being called African-American. His parents raised him to embrace all of his heritage. When he was a boy he made up a name to describe himself, "Cablinasian", which encompasses Caucasian, black, Indian and Asian. "But to be called any one of them, he said, was to deny a part of him" (Leland, 1997, p.59). Times are finally starting to change; multiculturalism is "in". Multi-ethnicity confers both individuality and a sense of shared values. Though, this does do not mean that the path is easy. Multiracial children know who they are and where they come from even if society does not accept it. Racism still exists, but "by asserting their multiracial identities, they can throw light on the nation's racial irrationality, even pressure it" (Leland, 1997, p. 60).

And finally,

In conclusion, an interracial child is not preordained to experience conflict as a result of their mixed heritage. If the family is open and communicative about both or all the cultures that have come together to create this child, the child can grow up to appreciate diversity in themselves and in others.

The main point of her study and report, is that in the end, it is how the child is raised and how they are taught about their heritage that is the primary key to whether or not they experience conflict over being Mixed. Makes sense to me. But again, I don't base my beliefs on whether these studies support or run counter to my experiences. I just know that people, and our responses to all kinds of things, are not just a factor of the color, even if the color is a blended one, of our skin.

Ethnic Self-Hatred

Today I want to pass on an excellent piece I read over at Anti-Racist Parent. Well worth reading. Here is the link.

A Strange Irony

A quick thought. As we teach our minority kids about how bad we had it (and still do in some cases), teaching about Jim Crow and slavery, discrimination in general, do we unwittingly pass on a sense of inferiority? You have to wonder if it ever enters the child's mind the wonder why we were so targeted, why we let whites and others, do the things they did. Don't get me wrong, I am not advocating not teaching history and discrimination realities. Just thinking that the irony as we do so is that though we try to concurrently teach how wrong such practices were and are, we may have to accept that built into the discussion is a seed of inferiority that we need to be vigilant about overcoming.

Tell It Like It Is

I know I'm going into politics again, but you really have to read this piece by Tim Wise, a white man who is unafraid to say the truth even when others who share his skin color will not. I think it is appropriate for this blog because the attitudes he speaks of are a big factor in holding up the barriers we face to getting beyond racism.

A BUZZFLASH GUEST CONTRIBUTION

By Tim Wise

For those who still can’t grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are constantly looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because "every family has challenges," even as black and Latino families with similar "challenges" are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a "fuckin’ redneck," like Bristol Palin’s boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll "kick their fuckin' ass," and talk about how you like to "shoot shit" for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don’t all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you’re "untested."

White privilege is being able to say that you support the words "under God" in the pledge of allegiance because "if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it’s good enough for me," and not be immediately disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the "under God" part wasn’t added until the 1950s--while believing that reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals.

White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you. White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto was "Alaska first," and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she’s being disrespectful.

White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you’re being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college--you’re somehow being mean, or even sexist.

White privilege is being able to convince white women who don’t even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a "second look."

White privilege is being able to fire people who didn’t support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt.

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God’s punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you’re just a good church-going Christian, but if you’re black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you’re an extremist who probably hates America.

White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a "trick question," while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O’Reilly means you’re dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it, a "light" burden.

And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren’t sure about that whole "change" thing. Ya know, it’s just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain.

White privilege is, in short, the problem.

A BUZZFLASH GUEST CONTRIBUTION

Tim Wise is the author of White Like Me (Soft Skull, 2005, revised 2008), and of Speaking Treason Fluently, publishing this month, also by Soft Skull.

A Day To Remember

Not much to say except days like this remind us why no more race, or division, is an important goal, no matter how impossible and unreachable it may seem.

Where Does Ethnic Hatred Come From?

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I am reading the great book, "Jackie Robinson: A Biography" by Arnold Rampersad. I just finished reading one chapter that detailed the incredible vitriol and hatred Robinson encountered on one trip to Louisville, Kentucky when he was still playing in the minor leagues, though still the first Black to do so. Later, Jackie would describe the language he heard, the slurs hurled at him whenever he did anything on the field, as some of the worst he ever experienced.

It's just amazing to imagine what that had to be like for him.

It makes me wonder, how can people have so much hatred inside of them, to do that to a person, to hate them so much that you can't control yourself, so much that spit flies from your mouth? All because of their skin color. Intellectually I understand bigotry. But then again, do we really understand this highly irrational reaction to difference?

When I read or hear about stuff like this, and while things may not be as blatant as back then we all know it still exists if only more subtly, I do wonder if we really understand where this stuff comes from.

Poor Little Mixed Kids

Here we go again. Yet another study that purports that Mixed kids and people have it bad in terms of being screwed up. Here is one key conclusion:

If we had to pick an explanation that best fits the facts, it would be the old sociology model of mixed-race individuals as the “marginal man”: not part of either racial group and therefore torn by inner conflict.

You know by now I think all of this is a bunch of hooey. By the way the same study concluded that Mixed kids were more attractive than non-Mixed. How they determined this I don't know.

At the end of the day, I think the model that is the basis of studies like this is intrinsically flawed because it presumes everything is black and white. For example when they say "mixed" or "interracial" are they focused on those our society perceives as polar opposites black and white, or are they looking at other cultural mixtures as well? From what I can see they tend to focus on black-white. But even in the case of black-white children, there is just way too much anecdotal evidence that these kids go through all the same issues and problems that everyone else does. Undoubtedly there is more on the plate for them, but again, to what degree do these studies take into account the family situation of the kids studied - whether the parents are together, whether the parents are poor or rich, what communities do they live in since some areas are more accepting than others, are the parents involved with the kids? Many questions that these academic studies don't seem to include when they simply conclude that Mixed means conflict.

There are just too many examples in our society of highly successful Mixed people to say that inherently they are prone to problems, and that list is way bigger than Barack Obama, Halle Berry and Mariah Carey. If you want to read the article about the study click on this link.

A Good Speech With No Substance

Sorry I haven't written anything this week. It has been a crazy and busy week. Frankly I try to stay away from too much politics on here, unless it relates to "race" and culture. But I can't resist with all this new swirling around on Sarah Palin, who the media seems to be gushing over for being able to read a good speech last night.

John McCain's selection of Alaska Governor, Sarah Palin, to be his running mate has to be one of the most cynical selections I have ever seen.

It is painfully clear that the entire reasoning behind the selection is to court all the disaffected Hillary supporters still running around out there. But come on. McCain wants that group so badly that he may well have completely blown up the logic and premise of his whole campaign. While I have no doubt he will succeed in getting many of the Hillary nutcases who still don't know what to do with themselves, does he really think women in general are so shallow that they would support ANY woman he picked?

I'm not even a woman and I'm insulted. This woman's resume is even shorter than Obama's, one of McCain's major criticisms of the Senator, and she has absolutely zero foriegn policy experience, another issue McCain has tried to hammer Obama on. And yet, we are supposed to believe he really thinks she is qualified to be President of the United States, since a VP has to satisfy that criteria as well. This is even more so considering McCain will be the oldest President to ever be sworn in should he pull off a miracle. I think the idea of the Republicans selecting a woman is great, because it does grab headlines and it does make their campaign also a symbolic one. But is this all the Republicans have? You really do have to wonder how the decision was made for example to pass over Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison of Texas if a woman was what you wanted. Or Condeleeza Rice? Was it just to get a young woman to counter Obama's youthful appeal?

It won't work.

I trust that women and young people are not the shallow thinkers McCain seems to think they are. I also think what this says about McCain is that he does not have the confidence to pick a strong woman, or man, someone who can stand up to him in terms of what they bring to the table, meaning someone who has equal or stronger credentials than he. No, unlike Obama who chose a VP who is clearly his equal and someone who has the experience to challenge his decisions, a trait that demonstrates Obama's leadership style, confidence and courage, McCain went with someone who in no way can call on a real resume of experience to challenge him.

There are also those who say McCain's choice, a monumental flip flop on his stance that the Presidency requires years of experience and foreign policy credentials, is no more of a contradiction than the change candidate, Obama, picking a Washington insider to be his running mate.

Wrong.

Change is not threatened by working with insiders. On the contrary, much of the change that has occurred historically has come from people working from outside with those working on the inside. So there is no contradiciton in the Biden selection. Just Obama's recognition that he will need someone on the inside to help smooth the way for the change he seeks.

There is absolutely no credible way to soft peddle the contradiction in a campaign that belittles its oponent for not being ready to lead and for not being able to handle foreign policy in a dangerous world, which are the main cornerstones of the McCain campaign, and then picking a back up that has far less experience than your opponent. The Republican's might as well throw that argument out the window.

No, this is a calculated risk based on a misguided belief that women will take any woman he throws out there. And sadly, I doubt McCain even realizes the insult. Palin may be a good person in general. But come on, most of her constituents are deer and moose. She is not the second coming of, or a substitute for, Hillary Clinton. I have seen Hillary Clinton. Palin is not her. Good try McCain. But you continue to misunderstand what this election is about.

Watching History

There isn't much to add about what we all saw in the stadium in Denver last night. But I would be remiss if I did not go on record as saying what an absolutely inspiring scene that was. Like so many others have said, I never thought I would see such a sight in my lifetime, a Mixed Black person standing before a crowd, a stadium no less, of people, black, white, brown, Asian and otherwise, accepting the nomination of a party to be President of the United States. There is indeed hope that one day we will get beyond all this "racial" silliness.

Coincidentally, I have been reading a book right now about one of my heroes, Jackie Robinson, who broke the color barrier in baseball in 1947-1948. And it is interesting and a truly positive reality that in "just" 60 years or so, we have come from Jackie having to put up with the BS he had to just to prove he could compete with whites, to a man named Barack Obama standing in a sports stadium thisclose to being President. It certainly puts all this in perspective. Jackie Robinson, and so many others, opened the doors that have allowed Obama to walk through. I have no doubt, Obama will continue the tradition for others.

From The Mouths of Babes

Further proof that as adults we often, no, let me rephrase that, most of the time, we overcomplicate things that are really simple at heart, is the wisdom our 11 year old son put forth during a great conversation the family was having the other night.

We were talking about prejudice and different people getting along or not getting along for various reasons. And Lawrence decided to sum it all up. He said simply "There aren't any different races of people unless you come from a different planet, otherwise we are all the same species."

And there it was. I know most adults will start saying oh he's just a kid and doesn't understand yet what he's talking about. I say the opposite is true. As adults we try too hard to make things more complicated than they need to be. As I wrote about the other day, there are studies and studies analyzing "race" and behavior and all sorts of things. Ridiculous. Save your money. A child can probably tell you all you need to know. Racism and prejudice is learned from the overthinking adults, who learned it from their parents. And then because we all believe this crap to be true, it is ingrained in us and we act accordingly. Truth becomes what we believe it to be, not what it really is.

But a kid hasn't got all that built in yet. They aren't corrupted yet. We should listen to them. Maybe we adults could learn a thing or two.

An Update On Daughter Wishing She Were Other

I thought I'd fill you in on the latest with our daughter and her self-identity issues. The other day I wrote that she was wishing she had blonde hair and lighter eyes, which caused her mother and I much concern.

Well she seems to be dealing better with that issue. Her mother and I tried an interesting strategy that seems to have helped. Not soon after our daughter's pronouncement of wishing she had more anglo traits, she also informed us that she wanted to be in beauty pageants and that this was one of the reasons she wanted the blonde hair, light eyes and lighter skin tone.

My wife and I saw our opening. We pulled down from the Internet pictures of the last two Miss USA's and the last two Miss Universes. We knew what she would see and indeed it caught our daughter off guard. The last two Miss USA's are African-American and Mixed, both with brown skin, dark hair and dark eyes. Last year's Miss Universe is from Japan, dark hair, tanned non-pale skin and dark eyes. And the most recent Miss Universe is from Venezuela with brown skin, dark hair (when she doesn't dye it) and green eyes. The only one in the bunch with non-dark eyes.

Our daughter actually had a big smile on her face when she looked at the pictures.

But the true sign that this helped her was I found her yesterday writing a letter to "American Girl Magazine" in which she told me she was writing about how she used to want to look different but once she saw the recent beauty pageant winners, and that they too had dark hair, brown skin and dark eyes (mostly) she was happy with herself.

I was quite pleased.

Needless to say I know this is not the end of her issues and that the pendulum is likely to swing many more times on her self-image. And dealing with the downsides of what beauty pageant images can do to a child's sense of self in terms of beauty in general and weight issues as well. But for now, I have to at least be glad that these pageants have accepted a wider ideal of beauty at least in terms of skin color and hair color. It certainly proved to have an impact on our daughter.

The Tragic Psychology of Mixed People

We cannot underestimate the importance of understanding the social, psychological and experiential differences that may increase the likelihood of psychological disorders among this (biracial Americans) fast-growing segment of the population.

This is from a study conducted by The University of California - Davis. The article can be found here.

The study was primarily focused on "bi-racial" Asian-Americans apparently, but it seems to delve into an issue that some believe is true for all Mixed people, that they are psychologically damaged. It is not the first study to say that Mixed people, of all kinds, have more issues as teenagers and are more likely to get into trouble, be depressed, etc.

Frankly I think this whole phenomena is overstated, but it is worth noting and paying attention to.

"Racial' Superiority In Sports

Here is another reminder of how much work is still to be done. This one from the Olympics (I told you I'm an Olympics nut)

I came across a news piece this weekend on Michael Phelps, the swimmer, on his historic feat of winning 8 gold medals (don't remember where, I think it was a Yahoo news story). There were hundreds of comments posted on the piece, many simply applauding his effort and accomplishment. But there were a large number of posts that got into a back and forth on racial superiority in sports. How sad. There are people out there who just cannot resist digging up racial issues whenever and wherever they can. I mean this isn't Hitler's games when the veracity of his Aryan superiority theory was put to the test. And yet many years later, people still look at these things to prove whether one group is biologically better than another. Sad. But a reminder we still have work to do.

The Changing Concepts of Majority and Minority

Much is being made in the media of a report released today that says by the year 2042 whites will no longer be the majority.

Here is part of the report as covered by the Associated Press:

White people will no longer make up a majority of Americans by 2042, according to new government projections. That's eight years sooner than previous estimates, made in 2004.

The nation has been growing more diverse for decades, but the process has sped up through immigration and higher birth rates among minority residents, especially Hispanics.

"The white population is older and very much centered around the aging baby boomers who are well past their high fertility years," said William Frey, a demographer at the Brookings Institution, a Washington think tank. "The future of America is epitomized by the young people today. They are basically the melting pot we are going to see in the future."

First let me say I hope no one thinks of this projection as a bad thing. The more diverse our country becomes, the better off we will be. I think what divides us - the concepts of majority and minority and how we are all subconsciously trained to act accordingly - is partially impacted by the fact that historically one group dominated. Increasing numerical equality should impact our seeing more people of all cultures in our media, on televisions shows, on the streets, etc. That can't help but impact our society in a positive way in the long run. And yet I suspect there will certainly be some tensions as our country changes in this way. Groups largely underrepresented in the past, say Hispanics, may experience growing pains as they become, if they are not already, the largest ethnic group for example. And vice versa, there will certainly be some resistance from some whites who prefer America being overwhelmingly white. But I think any tensions will ultimately work themselves out and the necessary adjustments will be made. And in the end, our country will truly resemble a a more equally fabulous blend of cultures and colors, including surely increasing numbers of people who are Mixed (which by the way were not included in the population projections to my knowledge but who I know will also increase greatly by then).

By the way, don't be mistaken by the report. When it says whites will no longer be the majority, that is only true when you lump them against all other ethnic groups as if they were one. As a single group, whites will still be the largest demographic by far.

The Dreaded "I Wish I Were Other"

Well it has finally happened. That dreaded moment most minority parents fear will come at some point. Our 9 year old daughter came to us last night and asked how old she had to be to have surgery on her nose because she thought it was simply too big.

Oh. Boy.

Needless to say, my wife and I were appalled to her this but we we didn't blame her or jump on her for this all-too-common self-denial that happens to a lot of minority children in our society that bombards us with images of white standards of beauty. Of course we stopped her on the spot and gently tried to make sure she knew that we thought she was perfect as she was and make sure she understood that beautiful noses came in many sizes. She seemed to accept what we were saying but I could tell the belief that she wanted to be other was already in too deep for us to get it out of her that easily.

I wasn't wrong.

This morning she came to me and declared that "though she knew she was beautiful and all that, she wanted to try blonde hair and hazel eyes."

Oh. Boy.

Again, I calmly asserted how beautiful she was as she is but I also asked why she wanted these changes. Her only answer, that she thought blonde hair and hazel eyes were pretty and that she was tired of dark hair and dark eyes. To be honest I think I did o.k. to deflect her at that moment, but as prepared as I thought I'd be for this moment, I was somewhat at a loss.

My wife and I will have to discuss this one some more. Clearly we have some work to do. I don't think we've done anything wrong up to now, because I do think it is so hard to keep every bit of this "white envy" out in our culture, but we clearly have not done enough. By the way, we asked our 11 year old son if he was happy with who he was and his appearance and he said he was completely happy with himself. Doesn't mean we shouldn't stay vigilante or that he wasn't lying. So we'll up the ante there too. But I also recognize this issue strikes a bit harder on minority girls.

So despite our efforts and my vigilance on issues of "race" the self-esteem issues of cultural beauty have seeped in. I did not think we would be immune. But it is still tough when it happens.

A Truly Beautiful Ideal and Sight

I have to tell you I am an avid sports fan. Almost all sports. And I love all things multi-cultural. So you gotta know I absolutely LOVE the Olympics. And this year's opening ceremony! Wow!

But truly the best sight of the Olympics and the opening ceremony in particular is to see the wide swath of colors, cultures and ethnicities that the people of the world represent. And to see them getting along, at least for these couple of weeks, how wonderful. It shows getting along is possible.

And I have to add, while I tend to root for a lot of countries, particularly Japan, in addition to obviously pulling for the USA, I do have to admit that at times like this it is particularly nice to look at our delegation and see that in just our delegation alone, so many cultures and ethnicities are represented. It says a lot about what our country is about at its heart.

It Seems Like The Racial Divide Is Growing More Pronounced

An unfortunate irony of Barack Obama's rise to the top of the Democratic Party heap and his being thisclose to the Presidency is that contrary to his Mixed ethnicity bringing people together, there are some indications that racial ugliness may actually get worse. Wouldn't that be ridiculous?!

It seems like people who are predisposed to harbor racial prejudice are simply sparked to bring it closer to the surface because of Obama. And the people who are more open minded, more prone to want to strangle those close-minded ones who don't get what he can do for us or understand what he represents in terms of progress. The rift is getting bigger, it is getting harsher, more clearly divided.

Of course this isn't Obama's fault. He can't do anything about all that is put on his shoulders in terms of feelings on both sides of this divide. But somehow, I have to keep believing that in the long run, we will be better off that a "racial" ceiling has been busted and that people, from all sides, can see someone who looks different than others at his level have looked in the relatively long history of this country. The divide of prejudice and discrimination won't close as fast as we might have hoped, and it looks like it may actually widen a bit in the short run. But I do believe eventually it will close, maybe it'll be by inches not feet, but that's progress too.

The Language of Racism

I have been having an interesting internet discussion with someone over at one of my favorite sites "Anti-Racist Parent." Though slightly off topic from the original post that I was responding to over there, "How Should We Refer To The Race of Our New Baby," the brief discussion (which I sincerely hope to continue at the writer's own blog, "Mixed Race America," which looks to be quite interesting as well) dove into how important it is, or is not, to fight against the use of the term "race." If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know I believe that changing our language is one, if not the first, step to overcoming our insane focus on all things racial.

The point the blogger and I seemed to disagree on was whether it was possible to fight racism while simultaneously accepting the social construct that is race in the first place. And since I cannot fairly articulate another person's point, please check out her site or our discussion at 'Anti-Racist Parent." While she and I disagreed on this issue I totally respect her comments and viewpoint. We have a lot of work to do to make the world a more accepting place when it comes to issues of prejudice and racism, so there is plenty of room for attacking the problems from many different perspectives. The good news is that there are lots of people out there who are doing what they can to make a difference.

In the end, it is certainly true that the concept of race is unfortunately very real to most people. Personally, one of my contributions to the fight against the racism that results, is hopefully to get enough of us to stop accepting the foolishness of the racial concept and to stop buying into even the language that contributes to our acceptance. Words do not do physical harm, and therefore may not be our biggest concern. But words can create realities that lead to very real and very physical and psychological harm.

Few words can compare to "race" in terms of the importance that has been placed on it. So much so that even those fighting against the results that flow from the concept, even accept its usage as something too big to get rid of.

I just can't.

I am not foolish enough to think my bi-cultural kids will not have to deal with the siliness of "race" and racial identity concerns. But my wife and I also agree that what we will certainly do is teach them that dealing with the illusion of race does not mean they should continue using the language of "race" and racism. Whether that is a large or small step, is debatable. But what is surely not, is that the impact of that little word has come to mean so so much to so many people. How strange then, that it is a word that is biologically meaningless, with it roots in division. And yet it is uttered every day as if it is o.k.

"Race" Is Ego At Work

This post takes the discussion to a different level than usual, but I was just reading a book on Buddhism and the concept of the ego and it occurred to me that there is a relationship to our "racial" problems.

The concept in Buddhism of the ego is that it is this seemingly real construct that gets in the way of seeing things for what they truly are, and it is this construct that causes us to suffer as we try to live according to what we believe our identity to be.

The concept of race is just like that. So much of how people interact seems to be based on ideas about who we are and who we are supposed to be based on what we look like on the outside. All too often we then make ourselves live according to expectations and fitting in, more than we live according to simply being and what is "on the inside."

An interesting insight into our issue from the world of Buddhism.

A Long Overdue Apology For Slavery

I am glad to see that the House of Representatives seems to be moving in the direction to have the US government formally apologize for the tragic stain of slavery in this country. Of course, this is not without great controversy. Some people think since slavery is in the past, that no one today did anything wrong, so how can they apologize. Others are afraid that legally admitting to such a wrong will open the doors to reparations and potential lawsuits leading to such.

I think neither point matters. At the end of the day, our government, at one time, fully took part in and benefited from the enslavement of an entire ethnic group. It is arguably the worst act our country has ever committed and one that still has an impact on "race" relations to this day. We apologized for, and paid reparations for, locking up Japanese Americans in internment camps. And we have, to some degree, tried to make up for what was done to Native Americans. So I don't see why the government shouldn't be on record for admitting a great wrong that was committed on the backs of Black people.

Now don't get me wrong. I am totally against reparations for the descendants of slaves. For one, I think by the time you define who should get it, which would include many "white"people because we may be surprised at how many whites have Blacks in their family tree, it would go to almost everyone in the country. And what about Mixed people, would they get partial reparations?

But the real reason I am against reparations is the fact that handing people a check won't do much for changing their lives. If anything should be done, it should be to guarantee that the money was invested in inner-city schools, in jobs programs, in health care for Blacks and others. These efforts would be far more meaningful and far more long-lasting than handing out checks.

But regardless of this issue, acknowledging a great wrong is a basic and important step. Will such a proclamation change my life or anybody else's? No. But what it will do is far more important. It says to me and every other American, that Africans and their descendants (of all stripes) are not crazy in thinking that slavery had a profound impact, and still does, on all of our psyches. And that alone, to me, is incredibly meaningful. And just maybe it is a step towards finally getting beyond the wrong. We even try to teach this basic principle to our children, that apologizing is important when you have done something wrong.

Shouldn't our government be held to the same standard? No one alive today may be a slave in this country, and no American today may be a slave owner. But that does not change the fact of history and the fact that our government, from then to now, has never acknowledged that what was done was terribly wrong. Apologies do matter. Even when it is as overdue as this.

"Black In America" Not Worth It

Well, I finally caught the CNN series "Black In America." And I have to say I was very disappointed, even bothered by Soledad Obrien's piece, particularly considering she is bi-cultural herself (that's her on the left with her kids).

I just don't think the series did anything to shed new light on the subject. All of the issues covered have been done before. Don't get me wrong, I'm still glad they did it. It's just that the promise of the program, especially with the way they publicized it, was so high. And maybe that's my fault. I expected too much.

But beyond that expectation, the greatest problem I had was that it was so one-sided. I don't think it really gave a fair or balanced since of what it is like to be "Black in America" as the tag for the series goes. All too often it focused on the view that the experiences of poverty, job troubles, housing, health care, etc., were totally unique to Blacks. And in almost all cases I kept saying to myself, but the problem or example they were giving impacted, and was felt by, others in almost the same way.

But of course, like in my last blog entry, the thing that bothered me the most were the times she covered what she called "inter-racial" relationships (and by the way her use of the word "race" over and over was particularly appalling to me, hammering the idea that we are totally distinct). Besides the part in the clip I referenced in my previous entry, much to my horror, I learned she had more negatives on these cross cultural unions. In one case, she focused on a young man, the product of a white father and black mother, and pretty much focused on his being not fully accepted in either world. And on another occasion she was talking to a father who had two sons in "inter-racial" relationships and she was quizzing him about that, insinuating a problem. She even said to him "many people will be angry about that," as if that should factor in.

Soledad, what gives? Maybe she wanted to go a different direction with that stuff and the whole piece, but was pressured by her bosses, who knows. But at best the piece was a reminder of the work still to be done. At worst, though, the series could do more to make it look like Blacks are altogether different and set apart than any other ethnic group, which certainly doesn't reflect my experiences as "Black in America." We certainly have issues to be dealt with, but so do all groups, and I certainly think we have far more in common than pieces like this choose to indicate.

CNN's "Black In America"

I haven't yet watched CNN's 'Black In America" series, but I am planning to catch up on it. And though I'm thrilled that they have done it, I do wonder how many non-blacks watched it. Do many non-blacks care to watch something like this? I hope so. If they do, maybe it will do more than increase CNN's black viewership.

But I saw a piece today online that made me look at one part of the documentary, the segment on Mixed couples. When I pulled the clip I was hoping it was going to be positive, but in the end, sadly, I felt exactly the same frustration as the writer of the piece that got my attention. The CNN piece only focused on the negative side of these relationships, mainly one couple's problem and coflict over how to identify their kids. That was the focus of the piece. Nothing positive about the kids. It focused on whether to call the kids black or something else. Granted, that is an issue, but there are other aspects of being Mixed, or black, if that is the direction a Mixed person or couple chooses to go.

I tell myself that maybe this was only a teaser of the issue and more will come, more that will highlight the positives of being Mixed and the impact Mixed people have had on the Black community, as well as the broader population. I hope I am not fooling myself.

Here is the response I read. Remarkably, it was written by the 16 year old Mixed daughter of actress Lyn Whitfield.

Mixed in America
Grace Gibson (16-year-old daughter of Lynn Whitfield)

Although I found this segment of “Black in America” to be highly informative for the general public, I was disappointed that the interviews in the section on what it is like to be biracial in America seemed to focus only on the more negative aspects. With the eyes of the world now on Barack Obama, I had hoped for a more balanced discussion on what a positive symbol a mixed race person can project.

Obama’s candidacy embodies change and hope for so many in this country of all generations, genders, races and cultures. His message of bringing us all together as Americans is enhanced by his mixed heritage. The biracial person personifies the breaking down of racial barriers that so many fought and died for in the civil rights movement. It is what Dr. Martin Luther King stood for and what his legacy of equality imparts to us today. So one should feel nothing but pride to be mixed in America.

If parents of biracial children are too concerned about what race their children identify and associate with, the only outcome will be confusion. They should rear their children to have enough self-esteem and self-confidence to be their own persons — encouraging them to be strong children who can grow up to be strong biracial adults.

There should be no need for them to say “I am black” or “I am white” because they are neither, yet they are both. Trying to force a choice is often done just to accommodate the people around them. Why should it be so difficult to understand that a person can be and take pride in two races, ethnically and culturally? Those who cannot accept this are perpetuating the kind of ignorance that would only resegregate society by taking away a positive symbol of integration, the mixed child, and restricting him or her to an either-or status.

In a world where a biracial man may well become the next President of the United States, all that a parent should be trying to instill in a child is pride in his or her race or races.

I am proud to be a child born to two loving, talented, creative people – a mother and father who happened to be of African-American and English descent, respectively. I do not feel confused at all nor do I have an identity crisis. I do not feel lost in society nor rejected by any race because I am all races in one.

I am the melting pot, and in our global society, soon all the children of the world will be a mixture of races as well. So why should we try to pick and choose what we want and don’t want our children to be? Why can’t we just accept our common humanity and try to refocus our energies on more pressing matters such as Hurricane Dolly in Texas, infected children in flooded Burmese streets, earthquake victims in China, AIDS patients in Sub-Saharan Africa or those here in Washington, D.C.?

As the world confronts these and other serious challenges to survival, why add more complications by trying to reduce a living symbol of racial harmony to a checked-box identity?

To see the original CNN piece that sparked this go to this link.

Mixed Couples Must Be Rebelling Against Something

The title of this piece seems to indicate the view that some people do have about mixed couples. Whether it is they are rebelling against their parents, they hate their own ethnicity, or whatever, it is always something other than the couple simple loves one another. At least that is how some see it.

There is an article in the news section to the right on this page that takes it to the next level. In The National Review, someone is even writing that Obama must have communist leanings since he is from mixed parents. Oh my.

Check out the story here or at the link on the side if it is still there when you read this.

"Race" Is Not Real

Here is a quote from a great piece in yesterday's San Francisco Chronicle:

The debate over what to call Obama - and the growing recognition of mixed-race Americans - is also a reminder that there's no such thing as racial purity and, indeed, that "biologically, race is a fiction," said sociologist Jorge Chapa, the director of the Center on Democracy in a Multiracial Society at the University of Illinois.

As you may know, I have long said that the first thing all of us need to do is get past the usage of the term "race." I really think it is the root of our problem. "Race" gives the impression that what separates us is biological and beyond superficial things like skin color, hair texture, etc. We do represent different cultures and ethnicities, but that difference is not seen as as big a divide as the belief that we altogether are different species as the concept of race would have us believe. I propose instead of bi-racial or multi-racial, we say bi-ethnic or bi-cultural, or multi-ethnic and multi-cultural. Or even mixed.

It is far more accurate and in time I believe will make the barrier to getting beyond "race" seem a lot less formidable.

Here is a link to that San Francisco Chronicle article on the prominence of bi-cultural people. Unfortunately as good as the piece is, the author does use the term "mixed-race." Oh well. progress comes in small steps sometimes.

The Word No One Should Ever Use

The latest thing to make the news from Jesse Jackson's mic slip is that supposedly he used the "N" word during this well-publicized rant as well. Something along the lines of "Barack is telling niggers how to behave." Oh. My. God.

This is worse because Jackson is on record as being opposed to blacks using this word, asking that comedians and rappers refrain from its usage. But apparently he uses it.

Let me go on record as saying, I know all the arguments that by us using the word we take its power away and the term of endearment argument as relates to the usage of the word's close kin "nigga." But I don't buy it. I think it is stupid under any condition to call each other a word that was, and is still used, to denigrate us. And I think there is no way to keep using the word and somehow not deep inside, internalize its root meaning, its real intent.

Whoopie Goldberg apparently also thinks it is o.k. to use the word, as I saw a clip from "The View" today that indicates she used it several times during the show, on purpose, for shock and to make a point, that she too thinks that we now "own" the word and it is less meaningful.

Just stupid. No matter how much we use it on ourselves it doesn't change what it means to the racist who throws it at us in an attempt to bring us down, like a homeless woman did at me a few weeks ago on the street.

And our usage of the word only confuses matters. Because no matter how we spin it, it is indeed a double standard to be outraged when somebody else says it, but to think it is cute when a black person says it.

I don't think so.

Good Video On Myths of Being Mixed

I came across this video from "Addicted To Race," a site and organization that also has the goal of promoting a less "racial" focus in our society. It makes some great points. Check it out. My only problem with it, is that they seem to buy into the notion that there is such a thing as "race" when it comes to defining people. I don't. I think that concept is the basis of our problem and from my perspective changing our language is a critical first step. But nevertheless, this is worth watching.

Are Blacks Fair Game For Satire?

At first blush, this seems like an easy question to answer. Shouldn't we, and other minorities, be treated equally? Isn't that what the struggle for equality has been all about?

Well, the answer is not so easy and clear-cut. Actually I think the root of the major blow-up this week over the controversial New Yorker cover depicting the Obama's as America-hating, secret terrorists is that the whites who run the magazine simply don't understand that you can't satirize minorities and women in the same way that you do white men. It is a fact, albeit an ironic and unfortunate one, that is lost on the cover artist and many on the left who in their liberal righteousness and intellectually-based thinking don't seem to understand. Sure, in theory the Obama's and any minority, should be fair game for such high-minded satire. But here is where intellect-based liberalism blinds so many to plain old common sense.

To satirize the Obama's the way The New Yorker did, and then to defend it as what they've always done, as they say, look at how they've skewered the current President Bush and other whites, is to miss the boat entirely. Barack and Michelle Obama have incredibly and deeply intense cultural, racial and even religious bigotry leveled at them. It is a part of their daily life as well as their political campaign and impacts them and everyone that is in the same demographic in a way that no political satire of George Bush ever could.

Satires of people in power, both currently and historically, do not have the same impact, potential and real, that it does on people who historically have been the brunt of very real physical and emotional suffering. When you satire George Bush all white people are not implicated. That has never been part of the language of satire in this country. It is clear that satire about one white man is just that.

But thanks to the history of racism in this country, it is foolish not to realize that a caricature of a Black woman and man (as Barack is perceived and considers himself to be) is also a caricature of every person that looks like them. Equally as important to understanding the broadness of minority satire is understanding that the implied humor or wittiness that is generally inherent in satire is simply impossible when the root of the subject being satirized is based on something so hurtful and a very real reality for a culture of people. Racism and bigotry are not intellectual discussions for Blacks. Easy to laugh and chuckle at such cerebral satire when your life is not impacted by the depiction. Because at the end of the day and at the end of this campaign season, Black men and women, not just Michelle and Barack, will still have to wake up everyday and navigate a world where these images are not a joke but a real perception of who they are.

And that's just not funny.

The Politics of Race

This is somewhat off topic from the normal focus of this blog, but I couldn't resist.

Yesterday the story got out about Rev. Jesse Jackson's slip on the open mic. Ignoring the part about castrating Obama, since that is just the way some people talk, as apparently Jackson does, the bigger issue is what he was so angry about.

Jackson apparently is upset because he believes that Obama talks down to Black people about personal responsibility. What's interesting about this whole thing is that it shows that there is a clear shift in the role "race" will play on the national stage.

Jackson represents a different way and a different time. Which, by the way, doesn't mean that I think we don't still need hard civil-rights leaders like Jackson or Al Sharpton. I am glad they are out there and on my and the Black community's side.

But Obama does represent a changing of the guard to a more race transcending way of doing things. And I think at the end of the day, it is hard for people of Jackson's era to accept the passing of the torch, even though getting to this point is what they have spent their lives dedicated to. Believe me, I understand that it must be tough for Jackson. To be both excited that the way he paved has paid off, but to also know that this young guy, Obama, is now the one every one will look to for the lead on the Black community.

So in a way it was sad to see what happened yesterday. But I think it is just part of the process, albeit a clumsy part due to Jackson's gaffe, of the changing of the guard. Obama's ascendancy does not and will not solve "racial' strife but it does indicate that times are indeed changing. It should not be surprising that it will take a while for the transition to be accepted by all, and no one ever said it would be smooth and without incident. No major cultural shift ever is. And if you haven't recognized it yet, we are definitely going through a major cultural shift.

The Funny Side of "No More Race"

My wife, who is a proud Mexican-American woman, is living proof though of what life might be like for those who fall into an unidentifiable ethnic look. I, and most people, have no problem identifying her as Hispanic, but we are surprised at how often she gets mistaken for some other ethnic group.

I kid you not, people have labeled her Mixed (Black and White), Persian, Jewish, Armenian, White, Thai, Spanish, Mexican, and who knows what else. That's what people have expressed at different times so who knows what people thought who didn't say anything.

Dianna gets a kick out of it. Hey, it allows her to blend when she feels the need I guess, so she can use it to her advantage. Though, generally she is quick to point out her Mexican roots. Makes me think how interesting that will be for people when the day comes when mixing creates such interesting blends that it will indeed be hard many times to identify what a person is.

Don't get me wrong, there is beauty in the uniqueness that different cultures offer in terms of skin tone and features. And I would never want to see that go away completely. But imagine the bigot who can't decide whether to discriminate because he or she just can't decide what you are.

Interesting.

Can We Talk Our Way Out Of Bigotry?

I was thinking the other day about the focus of this blog (well I guess I think about it everyday to be honest), and an interesting thought hit me.

Is it possible to get beyond a "race" focus by focusing so much attention on it? Is it at all possible, like some argue, that by thinking about race or racism all the time, we risk making it more of a big deal than it is? To see it where it is not?

My blog is titled "No More Race" because I would like to see our society and world get to the point some day, even if it is long, long time from now, where we no longer define each other and our relationships by what color our skin is or what ethnic group we belong to. And yet I write about race almost every day.

Obviously I know the base belief that the only way to rid ourselves of the racism disease is to point out its usage and its effect on our society. And that is ultimately the reason I do believe it is important for those of us who write on his subject, or are activists on this subject, to speak out whenever we can. As in medicine, you have to target the problem to get rid of the problem.

But I do believe I and others have to be careful to not see a problem where there is none. And to also draw attention as much to positives in this area as to negatives. Which is why in this blog I try to focus more on examples showing where Mixed relationships and people are moving forward and making a difference than I do on examples of ugly discrimination against them. I do believe that more can be done to move us forward by focusing on positives than negatives.

But it is an interesting irony is it not, that the goal is to focus on racism to get rid of racism. Maybe it is better to look at it as shining a light since we all know that people tend to behave more as they should when their is light on them than otherwise.

Is The Mixed Child Internal Conflict Avoidable?

My wife and I are both reading Barack Obama's first book, "Dreams From My Father." It is very clear reading it that Obama experienced great internal conflict growing up part Black and part White. Frankly I was surprised at just how much turmoil he went through trying to figure out his place, just where he fit in in our still polarized society and world.

I have read or heard of other Mixed people growing up not knowing where they fit in, of feeling caught between two worlds. This is generally true when the mix is White and Black, which most people unfortunately consider to be polar opposites. Not having grown up with that I cannot really know what that is like. But I have also heard of some who say they never really had many problems with their status. So who knows, maybe it is a factor of where you grow up and how your parents handle it.

Obviously it is my hope that our two kids do not struggle with their identity or feel some sense of ethnic isolation. As I have said before, in an effort to try to make this less of an issue, we chose to move to Los Angeles from our native Texas and our home in the midwest specifically to make sure that they would at least grow up in a city that had many ethnic groups and where ethnic mixing was not so uncommon.

But I am not naive enough to think that this will inoculate them from racism. We just wanted to give them a chance of at least seeing more people that looked like them and realizing that they were not oddities like they might be in some other places. But I suspect that as they get older the time will come when indeed they are challenged to "fit in" to one group, to pick a side. And maybe they will be conflicted. I do think to a small degree being that they are mixed with two "minorities", Black and Mexican, that it will be less of an issue than if they were Black and White. But still there are certainly Blacks and Mexicans who will challenge their identity.

As a parent, all I can do is hope we have provided them the tools and the self-esteem to deal with the natural identity issues that any teenager goes through, their Mixed status being an added "bonus." Already I get some indication that they see themselves as the best of all worlds, something to be proud of for being Mixed, since we have always pointed out to them all the famous and successful Mixed people there are in the world.

So when the conflict comes, if it does at all, right now I feel confident that these two will do just fine. And if not, I hope at least, my wife and I can help them steer their way through it.

Which Group Is More Accepting of Mixed Relationships?

My wife posed an interesting question yesterday? We were talking about yesterday's blog about the Indian father having his black daughter-in-law killed since he couldn't accept her into the family while the woman's family had no problem accepting her Indian husband. We tied that to the situation in our family where my family has no issues with my wife being a different ethnicity from me, yet her Mexican Mom and has made it clear she does have issues with Blacks. This made my wife wonder why is that Blacks seem more accepting of interracial relationships and children than do whites and others? Or, she wondered, was that an accurate assessment.

My answer to her, though I couldn't say I had any empirical evidence to support my opinion, only anecdotal, was that while she and we shouldn't be fooled, there were plenty of blacks who had very harsh opinions about mixed ethnicity couplings, it was indeed my experience that Blacks were more likely to accept these relationships over all. At least in my experience.

I think this is true because Blacks have long accepted the notion that to be Black means so many things. We come in so many shades and hues, hair textures, body types, you name it. And we also have long known that our ancestry in America was mixed with the blood of Native Americans, Whites, Hispanics, you name it. It is not uncommon at all for Black families to have at least one Mixed relationship in their extended family.

Now increasingly this is also true of all groups, thankfully. But I think it is just something Blacks have had to accept much sooner in our history. The idea of "racial" or ethnic purity is just not as important in our culture. At least to most. So here's to hoping on this, other groups catch up to Blacks on this one.

Hatred Is Not Just a Black and White Thing

A story out of Atlanta was reported in the news yesterday (link below) about an Indian (as in from India) who was convicted of murder for hiring a hit man to brutally murder his son's wife, who was also the mother of his grandchild since they had just had a baby, simply because she was black.

Yep.

He did it because of the "shame" on his family because his son had married the woman.

Apparently the Indian man's son knew his family would have issues with the marriage, due to their acceptance of India's strict caste system where lightness and darkness of skin color makes a huge difference, and had tried to keep it completely hidden from the family. But clearly they found out.

Just goes to show that racism is certainly not just something between blacks and whites and not just an American thing. Indeed it could be argued that nobody does discrimination better than India did due to that centuries old and deeply ingrained and enforced caste system. Just a reminder of how much still remains to be done on a global scale.

Oh by the way apparently the murderer's son has done the family right this time, he remarried - an Indian girl this time and he has no contact with his own baby who is being raised by his former wife's parents in Atlanta.

Here is a link to the story:

http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/story?id=5237459&page=1

Is Obama "Bi-Racial Or Black?"

That was the question CNN or some other mainstream news organization posed in one of their major pieces the other day. The problem with the question is the basic problem with our society in general. We have an insane need to categorize, to fit everything into neat little boxes. And making that instinct worse, is the further need to define everything in "black and white terms." You are either this or that, is the conventional wisdom. You cannot be both.

How silly.

At the end of the day, the nature of Barack's family tree gives him the freedom to choose to identify himself any way he chooses to. That is his personal choice and one he seems to have made based on how people see him when they look at his skin tone. While I would love it if he had chosen to bring light to the mixed ethnicity moniker by identifying as mixed, multi-racial or bi-racial (despite my being against any usage of "race"), I do understand why he has made the choice he has, as I do when Halle Berry calls herself black. Though for Obama it is much more political since he risks great push back from his black base if he were perceived to be shunning "blackness."

But back to the main point. It is not necessary to say whether Obama is Black or Bi-racial. He is both. It would also be equally correct to identify him as White, Hawaiian, Multi-Racial, any of the above. They are all absolutely correct. Now I do applaud the media for trying to get this right. I have been known to write to editors and journalists myself to make sure they noted a person was mixed and not "black" when they did not acknowledge the distinction. My purpose in doing so is always to point out that to simply label a person black (or any other single ethnicity) when they are more than that, buys into the racist concept that whites are pure and blacks and others are not. But to move that discussion into a pure either-or question is still missing the point.

Progress won't come easy I know. At least they did bring it up, is one way to look at it. But hey, I'm still pushing for them to go all the way to accepting and understanding the new reality.

The Trouble With In-Laws

My wife and I have been having a big discussion about whether or not we should limit our kids' contact with her parent's, our kids' grandparents, since they are quite undeniably racist.

The thing is they are not the kind that has ever or would ever say anything that is blatantly bigoted in front of me or the kids. They are the kind that is more subtle than that. They tend to simply make it clear that our kids are just not as on par with the other grandchildren, that they are "less than" and more of an interesting and cute amazement.

That does not mean my wife has not heard them be more direct in their opinions of blacks when she was growing up and when we were dating. She certainly heard the "N" word on many occasions let's say. And based on other comments they have made to her, it is not like they have become more enlightened since the kids have been around these 11 and 9 years.

The good thing is we live in Los Angeles and these grandparents are in Texas so we don't really see them all that much anyway. But of late my wife has come to the conclusion that she has had it with putting up with their attitude. I have always felt we should limit our time around them since I am not one to fake affection or hold my tongue. But at the same time I have also been concerned of damaging the kids by keeping the away from their grandparents, concerned that that could also do harm since the kids would at some point wonder why they could not see them and ultimately learn of their views anyway.

This week, thanks to posting a question on the wonderful site, "Anti-Racist Parent" we got some good advice from others, and the overwhelming consensus seemed to agree it was more important to keep the kids away from anyone who treated them with disrespect than to feel obligated to a familial tie that was not loving.

My wife and I had pretty much concluded that. Frankly I am still not sure we will never allow them to see their grandparents on my wife's side (my family has no issues with their multi-ethnic make-up), but we will certainly make it very very limited visits. We know we can't keep them protected from stupidity all their life, it is just so much more complicated when that idiocy is within your own family.

Like James Brown Said, "I'm Back!"

After spending some time working on a broader concept for my blog over at "A Different Way" I have happily and excitedly decided to restart this blog again. It seems no matter how hard I try and no matter what my other interests, nothing seems to motivate me more in terms of social causes and political/social discourse than the issue of race relations and multi-ethnic relationships and children.

So I am back at it again and look forward to focusing again on these issues. So much has happened since I was last here, from the primaries and general election to other national and world affairs that I think bringing our issues to the forefront and again demonstrating just how critical it is that we increase our efforts to improve the "racial" dialogue in this country, is of supreme importance.

So come back, join the discussion when it suits you, or just read and think about what is printed or appears here in the news or video section. I am so happy to be back!