Forever A Fan of Michael Jackson

Wow I’m still in a state of shock about Michael Jackson passing away. It just doesn’t feel real. I was, no I am, one of his biggest fans and supporters. There will never be another entertainer like Michael, with that kind of longevity and fan base worldwide. What a loss. We all have to go sometime, but this was definitely too soon for him.

I still remember how cool that he sang proudly the lyrics “if you wanna be my baby, it doesn’t matter if you’re black or white.” That was great. That song and its lyrics didn’t change the world, but coming from someone as big as him, it certainly put forth the concept of inter-ethnic harmony and love in a big way.

Of course there was the irony of such words coming from a guy who seemed to want to deny his own ethnicity and become another. But I don’t really care about that. Michael had issues no doubt. Don’t we all. In the end, he was a flawed human but a great one no less. What he gave to the world was a supreme gift, and music, the world for that matter, will not be the same without him.

The irony for me was that as a kid I was so connected to Michael partly because I was his mirror image (when he was a kid with the afro and brown skin). Literally everywhere I went, strangers would stop me and my parents and say how much I looked like Michael Jackson. So I felt a special connection. How odd then that he died on my birthday, June 25.

I guess we will continue to be connected, because that date will now have even more meaning to me.

Sports As The Example

My wife very often wonders why, and most men, are so into sports. And frankly I have no idea. Maybe it’s just that old male testosterone thing needing an outlet.

But one thing I love about the sports world is that if you look at most teams in most major sports you will see a world that is ideal, at least in terms of how different ethnicities can get together, work together and bond, with no concern for skin color.

Look at the Lakers team that won recently. A Chinese star, a Spanish star, a star from Eastern Europe, a White American, and several Black American stars. All bonded together and celebrating on a stage the other day. And in a stadium made up of people from all backgrounds coming together in harmony.

That is one reason I love sports. On the field, or court, players don’t really care about skin color. And neither do the fans that root for their teams.

So are sports unimportant? On the contrary they are very important. There is no better example of what we can be than sports. (Of course this is no excuse for me to watch every game on television though so I can’t push this notion too far with my wife, she won’t buy it as an excuse every time.)

A Virtual Fist Bump

I don’t know what’s going on but much to my delight in the last few days I have been seeing a large number of Mixed couples. Is something going on that I don’t know about? Has there been a meeting in Burbank I didn’t get invited to?

Whatever it is, I love it. Seriously, I must have seen at least 10 couples in the last 3 days, plus seeing at least 4 mothers with kids who were clearly Mixed. And the mixtures I’ve seen have run the gamut from Asian-White, Asian-Black, to Hispanic-Black, White-Black.

And it’s funny, when I see these couple I have to resist the urge to run up to them and give them high fives or something. Ironic, huh, since the point of all this is to get to that place where seeing such couples and families is not considered out of the ordinary. So I try to notice without noticing. But inside I am giving them a virtual fist bump.

Love that knows no boundaries. What a concept.

I Remember Why I Left Texas

I don’t want to make it out that Texas is the worst place in the world for ethnic relations, since no place including California is immune from problems, but it certainly ranks up there.

Last week I had to fly to Texas and though the trip overall was a good one, believe me I am very glad to be home. As I told my wife when I got back it was just so strange that it seemed nothing has changed there in terms of ethnic relations. I spent most of my time in the North Dallas area, which if you don’t know Dallas, is mostly white. And everywhere I went – restaurants, music spots, stores, you name it – there were few blacks and Mexicans, or any other ethnic groups besides Whites, mingling around. I saw no intermingling at all. And needless to say, as the only Black in most of the establishments I went to with my friend, who happened to be White, I got that look of curiosity – oh look there’s a Black guy in here.

But having been raised in Texas for the most part it didn’t really make me uncomfortable to be honest. But it sure was a reminder that it wasn’t the place I wanted to live my life. Again I want to say I know there are good people in Dallas and throughout Texas. I know many. It’s just that there is also more of an acceptance there of a separation of groups that I am not personally comfortable with. Some people can live that way, prefer it even. Not me, I’m not that person.

A Baby In A Coffee Shop

My wife and I were sitting in a local coffee shop here in Burbank the other night and had the pleasure of sitting across from a table of Japanese people who had a month and a half old baby with them. The baby was so cute and did that baby thing much of the time, which was to stare at people, in this case Dianna and I. Well what hit me, besides the perpetual wonder at new life and the life cycle, was that the baby was already living in a world of no more race. To her we weren’t anything but something to stare at, to try to figure out. It was a reminder that the silliness of race is absolutely a learned notion and though it will be impossible to stop that baby from learning the concept, we can at least hope for and work towards, making it less of a real issue.

Thank God for babies and the chance again to get it right.

A Very Special Day in Honor of a Very Special Couple

If you are Mixed or are in a Mixed, or I prefer to say, blended relationship, then you probably know about the Lovings. It is to the Lovings that we all owe a great debt because it was they who challenged our nation’s laws on what was referred to as miscegenation, or people marrying outside of their “race.”

The Lovings did not set out to change our country, or specifically 1958 Virginia since that is where their challenge began, but change the country they did when the case of the black woman and white man who simply wanted to have the right for their marriage to be legally recognized in their state, and everywhere, went to the Supreme Court and they won.

So out of that, to commemorate and celebrate what their love and efforts did for all inter-ethnic couples and their kids, a special day came to be recognized, at least by many Mixed people, and that day is Loving Day, which is appropriately titled as both the name of the couple and also of what they were simply trying to do. People all over America will be celebrating this special day in ways large and small, like my friend Zen, from the blog Zen’s Sekai I – by Land... who is having a special gathering of friends this weekend, most of whom are in Mixed relationships, at his home in The Bay Area. Many people don’t know about Loving Day, but we should all do our best to spread the word, so people of all kinds, not just Mixed people and couples, come to know what a special day this is and so no one forgets the special couple that made it all possible, by striking down laws that prevented interracial marriages.

So Happy Loving Day to you.

For more on The Lovings check out this site.

The Choice of Who We Love Is Not Based on Ethnicity

I saw the silliest thing on Facebook the other day. If you are into Facebook, then you know there are all these snapshot polls and personality quizzes people like to pass around. I think you can make up your own, which is kind of cool actually. But one the other day was likely a good intention gone bad.

The quiz was “Which ethnicity should you be dating?” Frankly I did not click on the link or participate in it so I don’t know where it goes or how it makes the conclusion. And at first blush it seems to me that the designer of the quiz probably meant well since even the notion that people should consider dating someone of a different ethnicity is a good one to put forth.

But my problem with the premise of the quiz is that it makes it seem like we should date someone based on their ethnicity – “what ethnicity should you be dating?” That flies in the face of what most of us who are in inter-ethnic relationships believe. We simply believe that we should be allowed to date anyone we choose regardless of their ethnicity, not because of it. Secondarily I don’t even want to know how they make the determination in this poll or quiz, because I am afraid it has to be based in part on stereotypes of the ethnic groups to make such a determination, since how can it take into account that people are individuals regardless of ethnicity.

Anything that makes it seem like we are choosing our partners for any other reason than love based on a personal connection is, in the long run, detrimental to getting us past an ethnic or race based way of seeing the world. The point is to love based on no boundaries, not because of distinctions.